


Wrapping Things Up

by ProseApothecary



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 04:38:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15987800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProseApothecary/pseuds/ProseApothecary
Summary: David's old friends find themselves in Schitt's Creek. David finds himself in a pit of despair.





	Wrapping Things Up

“Oh _fuck._ ”

Patrick gives David a concerned look as a gaggle of people walk through the doors of Rose Apothecary.

“Oh my God David! What are you doing here?” asks a girl who looks like the scene kid version of Alexis. David’s style seem understated by comparison.

“Hi…everyone,” says David, “I actually uh, own this place. And this is my boyfriend. Who helps me run it. Patrick. His name is Patrick.”

“Hi,” says Patrick, helpfully.

“I love your look,” says a man with an undercut and a holographic tank top, “it’s very normcore.”

Patrick laughs until he realises he’s the only one laughing.

“Uh, thanks. I try.”

“What are you guys doing here?” David asks

Scene Alexis answers, “Well, we were on a cross-country trip. But Kathryna wouldn’t shut up about how she was gonna puke. And then we saw the town sign, and Jaxxon wanted to make it his Grindr profile, and you know it just seemed like we were _meant_ to stop here.”

Patrick is pretty sure David has mentioned sleeping with a Jaxxon, so he is going to go ahead and assume it’s the most monochromatically-dressed of the group. He gets a little bit of childish joy from the fact that Jaxxon is a few inches shorter than he is.

Patrick is pretty sure Kathryna is the one who is fervently inhaling a sea-breeze-scented candle. When David had ordered them, Patrick had questioned what exactly a sea breeze smelt of, besides salt. David had told him that it was a metaphor for freedom and tranquillity, which had made Patrick question what freedom and tranquillity smelt like. Still, he had to hand it to David, clearly Kathryna was getting something from it.

“So David,” says Kathryna, angling to change the subject, “you’re still curating, right? is this place like, an art piece on the futility of capitalistic pursuits in the sinkhole of a small town economy?”

David makes a sound of non-committal. “Something like that.”

Given that David looks unbelievably tense right now, Patrick is willing to let it slide. No harm in keeping their profits up though.

“It’s an interactive piece. Everything is still definitely for sale.”

“Whoa,” says Holo Tank in an awed tone.

“I’ll take 3 of these,” says Kathryna, dumping the candles on the counter.

Holo Tank buys about half of their massage oils, throwing in a wink at Patrick for good measure. Patrick is intensely glad that encounter didn’t happen while he was still questioning things, or he may have decided to stay with Rachel forever.

They leave unceremoniously, with a “See you round, David”.

 

“Oh my God,” says David. ”What if they decide to spend the night at the motel? I have to text Stevie and tell her to work Reception. If they see Dad they’ll know we live here. And they’ll think the Rose family is 60% of the inhabitants. Like we founded our own fucking cult town around our family or something.”

“Or”, says Patrick, with a hand on David’s shoulder, “you could just leave it.”

“…Oh, that was your whole plan? I was waiting for the turnaround.”

“Why do you need to impress them? I mean I know they used to be your friends but…they kinda seem like assholes. Holo Tank guy was flirting with me while you were 3 inches away!”

“Jaxxon,” corrects David absent-mindedly.

“Oh my God, that one was Jaxxon?”

 “Yes,” says David defensively. “What about it?”

Patrick decides that David may not need an indictment of his taste in men right this second. He makes a mental note to tell Stevie about it later.

“Nothing. He’s just very…colourful, for you.”

“ _Ok_.” Says David, going back to texting.

Patrick is still attempting to understand his boyfriend.

“So…why does it matter? Do you actually miss them?”

“No,” says David. “I’d just rather not humiliate myself in front of them.”

“Right. Maybe _you_ could offer to work reception. Convince them they’re just hallucinating Davids around the town.”

“Ok,” says David, “Thank you for _all_ your _great_ suggestions but I think I’m gonna stick with Stevie.”

 

They show up to the store again the next day. Jaxxon seems disappointed to not see Patrick.

“Where’s your boy-toy?” asks Kathryna. Maybe the disappointment is shared. It wouldn’t be surprising.

David thinks it’s fair to say that he’s not the best at first impressions. Patrick, on the other hand, has this intensely irritating ability to make people love him instantly.

“He’s gone to fill in some paperwork at Town Hall,” David tells her. (David strongly suspects that has become code for “day-drink with Ronnie”, but she doesn’t need to know that). Kathryna dumps another 3 candles on the counter.

“Is he part of the art piece? Naive townie boyfriend?”

“ _No_.” says David bluntly.

Turns out the town being in love with Patrick is not nearly as annoying as someone having the audacity to _not_ be in love with Patrick.

 “Oh. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure he’s a lot of fun. I just assumed because, you know, he’s not really the same calibre as the people you used to hang out with.”

“Well, my tastes have improved. Turns out not all relationships depend on someone picking up the tab,” says David with a polite smile.

Kathryna gives a tight little uncomfortable smile in return. Jaxxon intently inspects the beanies.

“Oh. I don’t need those candles giftwrapped.”

“I insist.” David has never savoured an awkward silence so much.

 

Patrick walks in on David folding dozens of individual pleats into gift paper while Jaxxon and Katherine watch on in silence. He would assume its David’s strange way of trying to impress them, if David were not currently staring them down. This whole interaction was a strong contender for the top ten list of bizarre-shit-my-boyfriend-does. This is not lessened by the fact that, as they leave, David grabs and kisses him, before returning to angrily sorting mini perfume spritzers and cursing under his breath.

David certainly kept things interesting.

 

 


End file.
